Kinda makes me wish I had a StormTrooper costume for back in the day at the skating rink. Heh. Come on, you know you do too. You’d be gettin all the smokin hot ladies. Although I’m sure some of you would hear “Aren’t You a Little Short for a Stormtrooper?”

Well, I caught it. The prize for catching it was that you kept it and took it home. My Mom wasn’t too happy about that. Especially when, on the way home, it pecked my older sister on the face. She was freakin out. I thought it was funny. Good times.

Luckily my grandparents lived on an acre, in Vegas, and kept chickens. So it became part of the flock in my grandpa’s chicken coop.

Here’s to hoping you have good memories of the upcoming Fourth of July holiday, and here’s a pretty good collage of presidents “singing” the Star Spangled Banner to start it off.

A man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb when a nearly 11-foot alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water, authorities said.

Bruce Burger, 50, was trying to retrieve his ball Monday from a pond on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club.

The alligator latched on to Burger’s right forearm and pulled him in the pond, said Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. Burger used his left arm to beat the reptile until it freed him.

“I saw him reach down to get his ball and he yelled” for help, said Janet Pallo, who was playing the fifth hole and ran over to drive the man to the clubhouse.

Burger, from Lenoir City, Tennessee, was taken to a hospital but was not seriously injured, Morse said Tuesday.

It took seven Fish and Wildlife officers an hour to trap the one-eyed alligator, which measured 10 feet, 11 inches, Morse said.

The pond at the sixth hole has a “Beware of Alligator” sign.

“Unfortunately, that’s part of Florida,” course general manager Rod Parry said. “There’s wildlife in these ponds.”

I thought Happy Gilmore already killed that gator….

The Landlord